HUMOUR FOR SOCIOPATHS

When I was a kid, Star Wars hit the screens. I was four. I didn't see it until I was eight, but it captured my imagination and from that moment on my life was focused on science-fiction. Most lads my age were fans, but for me it was something that provided escape from the reality of an absent, indifferent, self-centered father, and the physical and psychological abuse inflicted by an alcoholic, psychotic mother and her lunatic second husband. As an adult, well, the abuse never stops and never goes away, and the New Hope Star Wars offered has turned out to as disappointing as almost everything else. 

The reasons have been encapsulated in this gem on the Internet (see link below). It was posted under Alternate Ending to The Empire Strikes Back. Sadly, and with a collective wince of what most of us would call embarrassment and shame, some people might find it rather amusing. To those who are a little less morally and ethically stunted, however, it is just another disturbing example of the kind of entrenched socio-cultural attitudes far too many people have toward others.

http://funnyshit.com.au/starwars_alternate_ending.html

In this case, the so-called funny-shit is an attempt at humor where an absent father meets his adult son, reveals who he is, and then bullies and mocks everything that son has accomplished despite being raised without his father’s influence. Indeed, Darth Vader goes on to claim how much better he is than Luke, building himself up by tearing his son down, but fails to actually consider all of the relevant facts in a demonstration of serious mental health issues.

People who have never experienced this kind of pathetic ‘parenting’ - what the author of that piece of idiocy thinks is amusing - is a brutal, sadistic, vindictive and psychologically scaring reality. The kind of people that behave like Darth Vader in that ‘humor’, or who think it is funny, are sociopaths. Yes, Darth Vader is just a character in a story, but he is a dark reflection of cowards and bullies in the real world, flawed creatures whose desperation to control everything around them and satisfy their own sick egos and ambitions inflicts misery on all those they encounter. 

There are far too many victims of predators like that who have suffered their hypocrisy, brutality and victim blaming activities. The trash who violate basic decency and the rights of others look for every opportunity to project their own defective personality traits and - too often - abuse on children (their own and others), partners, parents, and anybody else they believe is in the way of what they want. They justify what they do by blaming their victims, and refuse to take responsibility for the things they have done. The only way to stop them is with real deterrents or force multiplied.

Have a read of that ‘funny’ Alternate Ending to The Empire Strikes Back, and then listen in wonder to the unhinged comments that “it’s just a joke”, “lighten up”, “get over yourself” and other mindless remarks from people who need a good dose of empathy and humility at the business end of boots from predators who do those things without fear of ever being punished for their crimes. 

Now take a more realistic look at all that lovely projection and disassociation it contained, tidy it up a bit with perspective so we can really see who the real non-achiever is in this situation. Let’s give all those dead-beat-dads who do this kind of thing a reality check. Admittedly, this will just give them another opportunity to spit in our face as they refuse to accept their own very short-comings, and fail to do anything even remotely associated with becoming decent human beings, but unless we make an effort, we allow their behaviour to make us no better than them.

Seriously? Threepio’s default setting appears to be whine. It rarely says anything positive, persists in blaming others for failures, won’t shut up, and forever tries to validate its existence. Clearly Anakin put a lot of himself into it, and yet he’s still got plenty to spare.

Let’s see. Well, after DV brutalized and murdered Luke’s mother, Obi Wan took Luke to live with his grandmother’s step-son and his wife. They looked after him because DV was too much of a gutless prick to be trusted near children (especially after he murdered all those Padwans in the Jedi Temple). Senator Organa and his wife raised Luke’s twin-sister. Luke and Leia had to be separated in case DV came after them, so they never got to grow-up together and thought they were all alone. I’m sure Luke and Leia really appreciate that. 

Luke has only just turned 20 and, until DV’s goons killed his step-uncle and -aunt, he worked on their moisture farm. They didn’t have much but they did a better job of parenting than DV did. As for the hand, well, DV never gave Luke anything and just seems to be good at taking stuff away, so, obviously, nothing has changed. DV is still a piece of crap. As for levitating a ship out of the swamp, Luke did pretty good for someone that only had a few day’s training. Oh, and...

Actually, Anakin had a whole bunch of the Naboo defense force distracting the Trade Federation droids, and from what we all witnessed, all he did was spin the ship while R2 did all the real work. Luke? Well, while his mates got shot down and killed, he did that Death Star thing all on his own without the use of a targeting system or R2 because DV shot it. In comparison, looks like Luke did a better job.

Typical. Gutless piece of crap mocking his victim. Too cowardly to even admit he made mistakes let alone make any effort to do something to make up for it. And in this case, it’s the son for which he never bothered to be a better parent. What do you say to someone that worthless? “Oh, for the love of all that's good, do us all a favour and just…

Actually, the Emperor did that. And he did it using deceit and an entire clone army of millions of mindless sycophants. DV just showed up and murdered children and the Emperor’s unarmed stooges who had no chance of defending themselves. The only real fight DV had was with Obi Wan, who DV claimed was his inferior, and he kicked DV’s backside. Chopped off DV’s legs and one arm, and left him roasting on the shore of a lava lake because DV was such a worthless piece of crap, lacked the ability to learn, and was such a psychotic megalomaniac he thought he had the ability and right to rule the galaxy. At the same age, Luke just use to make the most of what little he had and enjoyed the times he got to hang out with friends and…

Yeah, must have been hard being a convergence of the Force with all that to help DV do all those things. And then years of training under, arguably, one of the best Jedi to ever live. And what did DV do with those gifts, all the advantages Luke never had? He bitched and whined whenever he didn’t get what he wanted. Still moped about wishing mummy was there and then threw a massive, galactic-scale tantrum when things didn’t go his way. Guess what? Luke didn’t have a mother or father. DV killed his mother and was a piss-poor father too selfish and gutless to be someone worthwhile. It’s no wonder Luke considered almost guaranteed suicide a better option than spending even one more minute anywhere near DV. It looked like a much better alternative.

You know what, a far better alternative ending to this encounter would have been DV having a sudden, life-changing epiphany where he realises he’s a colossal douche and begs for his son’s forgiveness then dedicates every waking moment to make up for what he has done. Not that funny though, and certainly something very unlikely to ever happen, so …

… Luke: "Oh, man! If only! I’ve never told anyone this, but I always thought it might be Obi Wan! A while ago, after I found that recording of Leia in R2, I found some others about you and him and Padme. Always wondered why she’d go for a younger guy when she could have had Obi Wan, especially when you were such a whiny little bitch.

“I mean, you were such an arrogant, aggressive jerk, so full of yourself with an over-inflated sense of self-worth, but him… He looked like the cat that got the cream and had that glorious beard! Whenever he took centre stage, even just in the wings, people believed it, but nobody believed your performance because it just wasn’t credible. You had ‘lightsaber’ performance issues. It was either broken or lost. And you were so moody, like you weren’t getting any! But him… that twinkle in his eye, and when you killed him on the Death Star, that knowing look he cast at me, that smirk, like he and Padme had been doing something so sneaky nobody had any idea it was going on.”

Darth Vader: "No, it's not true! It's impossible."

Luke: "Search your feelings; you know it to be true."

Darth Vader: "NO!"

Luke: "Hey, cheer up, buddy, who knows? It could all be just a plot. The pressure you and the Emperor are under is pretty obvious. The Empire’s having finance issues and can’t afford paint for Tie-fighters, Star Destroyers, and whatever. Your Storm Troopers aren’t the brightest bunch and need better training. I heard they walk into doors and can’t hit the bear-backside of an Ewok standing right in front of them, and you keep killing officers for mistakes and accidents resulting from your own idiotic orders!

“Maybe Obi Wan is messing with your head? You decide nepotism is the way to go and waste all that time and effort hunting me down to turn to the Dark Side when you should be hunting down all those little tree-hugging, pot-smoking, long-haired hippies messing with your stuff and BOOM! There goes your next Death Star and evil Empire! Anyway, I’d rather step off this ledge than waste any more time on you. Later, loser!”

Luke plunges down the shaft.

Darth Vader watches as he falls away.

Darth Vader: Realising his best years are behind him and he is a loser, but still projecting because he’s such a worthless piece of crap he’ll never take responsibility for his own failures. "Yeah, that’s right! Run away! Knew you were too gutless to face me and admit you’re wrong! No wonder you don’t have any friends and everyone hates you! No wonder you’re all alone!"

Darth Vader is alone as his voice echoes back to him. “Lone. Own. Own.”

But, instead, we got a predictable finale that ended the same way as it began, with a self-centred bully too stupid to be anything more making idiotic insults to a child he abandoned, someone that just wanted to meet the great man he thought his father would be, somebody who deserved far better…

So next time you see or hear about a father belittling his kids, step back and have a think. Ask yourself some hard questions. Who is at fault there? The target of such nasty remarks, or the person making them? Was the father present, or is he complaining about the child that did its best to raise itself in his absence? Where was the father when the child failed to live-up to expectations? Investing time and energy in the child, or his own self-centred efforts to make himself a sad little king on a sad little hill? And if you're one of those idiots that treats his victims this way, it's time to grow up, take responsibility, and lift your game, because your kids may have lost thanks to your pathetic behaviour, but it's you that's the loser. 

Note: This blog entry was originally published on the 20th of September 2016 under a different blog post I’d been making but seemed more appropriate added to this one due to the nature of the points it raised about flawed socio-cultural attitudes.