THE TIP OF THE BRIMSTONE - PART 8
TIMELINE OF ABUSE – PART SEVEN
1990
My Year Twelve home-room teacher was Mr ‘Rolls’. He had organised for me
to switch into an Art and Graphics course to complete my HSC. With luck I might
be able to get into a Graphic Design degree at university. It wasn’t
engineering, but I might get to work with engineers. I had shown remarkable
talent, a real gift for design and drawing. The work was a breeze. I aced
Graphics with a 98% average and won the Outstanding Student of Art Award for my
art project. I was one of only seven guys in the Year Twelve class of
thirty-two. The English teacher told me to focus on illustrations to get me
through that unit and I finished it with a D. He couldn’t be bothered doing
anything to help me and had made his mind up that I was useless in that area. A
few years later, when I redid Year Twelve, I’d finish English with a B+ despite
the protests of my teacher; she had argued my work deserved an A but complained
bitterly about the Grade Allocation system being weighted to award Private
School students better grades. I didn’t care.
School was a colossal farce. None of it meant anything. I had discovered
‘Micha’ copying my work from the previous years. He literally copied it word
for word, illustrations and all, and submitted it to the same teachers. They
never even noticed. In fact, they gave him better grades! I’d started fighting
back at school. I was sick of being beaten up and just lashed out one day.
After a few fights, nobody bothered me again. I could take a beating and come
out swinging, giving better than I got. Bullies, I discovered, are cowards;
once someone fights back, they leave them alone. ‘Micha’ had begun to attack me
when we were at ‘Lilith’ and ‘Bull’s’ that year. One time, near the sheep
yards, he’d come at me swinging when I refused to do a job ‘Lilith’ had given
him. ‘Bull’ had watched on with a vicious, mad look in his eyes and spittle
gathering in the corner of his mouth.
I blocked every swing ‘Micha’ made but then he grabbed me and started
shoving me back toward the post I’d just planted and filled in for a fence I’d
been told to make. It was about four feet tall, above the ground, and a good
nine inches of solid timber to a side. I just put my forearms between his and
pushed them out, breaking ‘Micha’s’ hold, and stepped aside. I wanted to punch
him in the face, but I didn’t. What was the point? Unprepared, ‘Micha’ stumbled
and tripped, bashing his head into the post. He got up, screaming abuse at me,
and started swinging again until he noticed the blood. He’d split his head
open. He started crying and ran back to the house. He was fifteen at the time.
When I got back, the story was I’d attacked him with a piece of wood, without
warning or provocation. ‘Bull’ had watched ‘Lilith’s’ accusation and didn’t
correct it, but came over to punch me in the side of the head when ‘Lilith’
tried to slap my face the third time. She had shown no desire to stop after the
first two hits and I’d decided I’d had enough.
I was angry about what ‘Bull’ had done to the dog ‘Lilith’ had replaced
‘Patroclus’ with. ‘Bull’ use to take it hunting, setting it on cats or whatever
else he wanted to watch get maimed and torn to pieces. But he never chained it
up or put it in the cage, so it would go and attack sheep. He’d shot it with
the shotgun a few times and its back legs didn’t work properly after that. It
limped everywhere, its barrel chest doing all the work. But one day the dog was
dead. ‘Bull’ boasted that he took it out hunting and then shot it through the
stomach to see what it did. It had crawled back to him, so he blew out its
spine and watched it try to get into the ute. Finally, he shot it in the face
and blew off most of its bottom jaw and then watched it die a horrible,
agonised and lingering death. He would often tell me how he’d drive out to that
lonely patch of scrub on the edge of the property so he could see what happened
to the dog’s remains. I’m not sure if he did that and told me about it to get
to me or just because he was unhinged. At school I’d never really fit in. I’d
stayed at ‘Stuart Dicks’ place once. His family were Catholic and invited me
over. ‘Lilith’ had said yes. ‘Harry Rich’ had gone too. There was a party up
the road. We went. I wanted to see what the parties the other kids talked about
were like. It was just a bunch of older guys giving younger girls alcohol,
throwing bullets into the fire, and then taking the girls off to a nearby
hayshed to have sex with them. When ‘Stuart’ and ‘Harry’ had tried to get one
of the girls drunk so they could use her like that, I left and made them come
with me. We never spoke to one another after that. I spent the last year of
school doing the work I had to do and staring into space. I was depressed and
spent most of my time thinking about killing myself. That dog ‘Bull’ had killed
had been the closest thing I had to a friend.
At the end of the year, I went to live with ‘Lilith’s’ parents and work
on their farm. There had been no Muck-up Day for the Year Twelve class that
year. The traditional rite of passage had been prohibited. The School Principal
had sent us a warning that if we came onto the property that day we would be
arrested and charged with trespass and vandalism. I never even attended the
graduation to receive the Art Award. I didn’t care. They sent me the
twenty-dollar prize money. ‘Micha’ showed up as soon as Year Ten concluded and
set about his usual routine of making life miserable. I’d had a few weeks to
spend with ‘Edward’ on my own and he seemed to warm-up to me a little, just
like when I’d been a kid. ‘Edward’s’ attitude toward confrontation had always
been to avoid it. ‘Lilith’ and ‘Micha’ created an aura of hostility whenever
they didn’t get what they wanted, and ‘Edward’ spending time with me was not
what they wanted. To make matters worse, ‘Edward’ was in a foul mood. He had
worked for Miss ‘Yabb’ for the better part of thirty years and she had died.
What caused his anger to boil over was what she had done with her land: she
left it to the Church. He believed she should have left it to him. He wanted it
so he could divide it between ‘Lara A’, ‘Sue B’ and ‘Adam C’ as their
inheritance. It went to auction and the ‘Arnot’ family easily outbid him.
In the weeks and months that followed, I saw in ‘Edward’s’
short-tempered cursing and indifference to what was being done to me where
‘Lilith’ and ‘Micha’ got their self-centred, nasty, spiteful attitudes from; he
was the closest thing to a father I’d ever known and, for the first time in my
life, I was ashamed of ‘Edward’. The only time I’d ever been truly happy was
when I was at [DELETED], away from ‘Lilith’ and then ‘Bull’, or at ‘Edward’ and
‘Sharleen’s’ when ‘Lilith’ and then ‘Bull’ weren’t around. Over the last few
years, it had been less pleasant. Nobody trusted me. I could feel it. I
realised in those weeks that without ‘Micha’ around, the farm at [DELETED] was
a place where I was happy again. But then ‘Edward’ sold the dog I had trained
and asked to have as my own. He had given ‘Micha’ a dog six years earlier but
didn’t hesitate when the offer was made for mine. ‘Lilith’ had convinced him
she needed money when the offer had been made. He wouldn’t look me in the eye.
I think, right then, I knew there was nothing there for me, that no matter how
hard I worked and put-up with them, eventually I’d be left with nothing. It had
been one of only two places I was happy. I knew it wouldn’t last. And this is
where my Timeline of Abuse would magically end, rainbows break out and justice
prevail in the insane world of reporting crime. But it didn’t. The child abuse
only ended because I would turn eighteen. The child abuse itself simply evolved
into assault and battery and the murky waters of what the police and other
public services claim are not matters they can deal with: theft, stalking,
harassment, slander, defamation, intimidation and psychological terror that
alienates their victims from friends and relatives until they are forced to
flee interstate just to escape and attempt to live a normal life despite the
isolation and depression. These are crimes that normally attract a Restraining
Order and too often result in breaches of said order that lead to assaults and
even death. In recent years there have also been charges laid against
people who bullied a fellow employee without mercy until she committed suicide.
Why is it that the police are disinterested in these crimes? If it isn’t their
job, then who can help the victims of these crimes? Where do victims go for
help?
1991
My eighteenth birthday came and went. There was no party. There was no
celebration. There was nothing. ‘Lilith’ showed up with ‘Lara A’, ‘Sue B’ and
‘Adam C’ for the Christmas holidays. ‘Bull’ didn’t come. I didn’t know it at
the time, but there was trouble in paradise. ‘Micha’ had told ‘Edward’ what had
been going on. He didn’t do it out of any loyalty to me, but for his own
benefit. Over the last two years ‘Lilith’ and ‘Micha’ had been revealing their
plans for ‘Edward’ and ‘Sharleen’s’ property. “We’ve got a deal with Pa,”
they’d say, “and you’re not part of it. All his stuff is ours so get lost.”
According to them, he was going to give ‘Lilith’ and ‘Micha’ all his land and
estates over the next ten years. When only one of them was around, however, it
was “I’ve got a deal with Pa.” They were planning on double-crossing one
another even then. So ‘Micha’ had ratted-out ‘Lilith’ and ‘Bull’ to drive a
wedge between them and ‘Edward’, and make himself more secure. ‘Lilith’ had
blamed everything on ‘Bull’, and claimed what ‘Micha’ said about her had all
been a lie. That’s why ‘Bull’ hadn’t come for Christmas. But behind his back,
‘Micha’ and ‘Lilith’ bullied and terrorised ‘Sharleen’, ‘Lara A’, ‘Sue B’,
‘Adam C’ and me. They made our lives miserable. I was starting to think in
dangerous ways.
I didn’t want the children to suffer the way I had. Suicide might stop
what was happening to me, but that wouldn’t protect ‘Sharleen’ and the other
children. The last three years of High School taught me the only way to stop
bullies was to respond to violence with violence. I didn’t even realise it at
the time, but I was becoming more like ‘Lilith’, ‘Bull’ and ‘Micha’. The only
break from what was going on came when I went to [DELETED] for a week after
Christmas. ‘Myshell’ was there and ‘Elisa’ and ‘George’ sent me with her back
to [DELETED] to visit other relatives. On the bus from [DELETED] to [DELETED],
a group of old people about the same age as our grandparents started talking
with us. They wanted to know who we were. ‘Myshell’ said we were ‘George’ and
‘Elisa’s’ grandchildren. “Oh, you must be ‘Lorenzo’s’ eldest then,” one of them
said, and the others nodded, “you look like him.” We tried to explain that
‘Claud’ was my father and ‘Myshell’ was ‘Maurisa’s’ youngest, but they were
adamant ‘Lorenzo’ was our father. They may have mistaken ‘Myshell’ for ‘Clara’,
‘Lorenzo’s’ eldest, who was the same age, but ‘Lorenzo’ had no sons. The old
people turned their backs on us and had a heated discussion. Then one of them
said “Maybe they don’t know.” After that they just looked guilty and wouldn’t
speak to us again. I’ve often wondered what that was all about.
The return to [DELETED] was something I actually dreaded, and I was glad
I was going to university even though I didn’t want to actually do the course.
I got into a Visual Arts course at Monash, in [DELETED]. I’d be living on
campus. ‘Lilith’ used my bank account to pay for my accommodation for the
first six months but refused to give me my ATM card. She wouldn’t let me access
my bank account. I was eighteen. I had to go to the bank and explain the
situation. They gave me an ATM card and cancelled the one ‘Lilith’ had. The
account was empty. ‘Lilith’ had taken everything ‘Edward’ and ‘Sharleen’ had
ever put into it. There had been almost twenty-thousand dollars go into that
account. But ‘Lilith’ wasn’t done. When I confronted her about that, she
demanded I pay her and ‘Bull’ an additional $3,500 for every year I’d lived
with them. Another twenty-thousand dollars. She called it board. ‘Lilith’ and
‘Bull’ had abused me, and used me as an unpaid domestic, for those six years
and expected me to pay them for the privilege. Despite this insanity, I hitched
a ride back to [DELETED] every weekend to visit ‘Lara A’, ‘Sue B’ and ‘Adam C’.
I needed them to have some happy memories. I was worried they’d suffer the same
fate I had. It cost me $15 to hitch a return ride with ‘Susan Jess’, a girl who
went to [DELETED] High with me and then university. It was half of the money I
had for the week. ‘Lilith’ and ‘Bull’ demanded I cut wood for the week, and mow
the lawns, each visit, and I was so use to doing what they ordered that I just
did it. That ended when I finally got my licence and a car of my own. I’d saved
two-thousand dollars by working for ‘Lilith’s’ father and he loaned me the same
again. ‘Bull’ had got a car for me and demanded I give him the money. I had no
idea it was a reconditioned wreck, or that it only cost him half what I paid.
‘Bull’ took the rest to the TAB.
I’d gone back to [DELETED] and got out of the car. ‘Lara A’ had dropped
a ball while she was on the trampoline and it rolled over to me, so I kicked it
back. I kept it at ground level and had no idea ‘Adam C’ was coming around the
corner. The ball hit a stone and bounced up into his face at the last moment, a
freak accident. ‘Bull’ saw what happened but started screaming that I’d
deliberately tried to murder his son. Most of what he said was unintelligible,
incoherent ranting. He picked ‘Adam C’ up and held the three-year old in front
of himself, like a shield, and started swinging his right fist at me. I just
dodged and looked at him. I shook my head, turned and walked away. I got in the
car and left. I came back at the end of the university year to collect my
things. ‘Bull’ stood over me while I collected what little I had and
would say “I’ll have that” whenever he wanted something. He done it whenever
I’d made food for years. ‘Micha’ would do the same thing. Usually they took
everything until there was no food left. That day ‘Bull’ took books ‘Sharleen’
had given me, clothes he had no use for, childhood toys my grandparents had
given me, things he didn’t even need or want, just because he could. I left
with hardly anything. I went to live with ‘Edward’ and ‘Sharleen’. I had no
intention of returning to university. I couldn’t afford it and it had been a
big disappointment. I didn’t want to do the course and didn’t like a lot of
what happened there. I had been failed in one of the units. The lecturer had
said my work demonstrated a chauvinistic personality and spent her time
insulting me and my work in classes. A number of the guys in the class had suffered
the same treatment but, inexplicably, it would stop. They said it was because
they had agreed to have sex with her. I thought they were joking. She never
stopped treating me like that and even though there was no reason to fail me,
she failed me all the same. I was disgusted with what university was.
I hate bullies and people that act in immoral, unethical and
hypocritical ways. I avoid them when I can. Even if I had the money to pay for
it, I would never have gone back to that university. The only good thing that
happened was I met a girl at the end of the year. We had gone out a few times
and her friends said I should take her to meet my parents. I’d tried to explain
that was a bad idea and why, but they said it couldn’t be that bad. “That kind
of thing doesn’t really happen,” they’d say, “you’re just remembering it wrong.
Everybody deserves a second chance.” That’s the problem when you encounter
people who’ve led very sheltered, often over-privileged lives; they don’t want
to believe things like that can happen. I caved into the pressure and made the
mistake of introducing my girlfriend to ‘Lilith’ and ‘Bull’. ‘Elizabeth’ and I
stayed at ‘Lilith’ and ‘Bull’s’ farm outside [DELETED]. ‘Lilith’ moved ‘Adam C’
in with ‘Lara A’ and ‘Sue B’ so ‘Elizabeth’ would be in the room right across
from hers. She was keeping a very close watch on us. She needn’t have bothered.
We’d only been dating for six weeks and even years later ‘Elizabeth’ didn’t do
sex. But ‘Lilith’ did to ‘Elizabeth’ what she did to ‘Myshell’. ‘Lilith’ was
real friendly for the first few days, but ‘Elizabeth’ didn’t take my
advice; she answered all the questions ‘Lilith’ asked, giving her all the
information she wanted to do what she’d planned all along.
When we were leaving so I could drop ‘Elizabeth’ off with her
parents on the way to [DELETED], ‘Lilith’ came down the driveway, arms pumping
her squat, round frame along with more energy than she had ever used in the
last few years. She had a look of malicious intent on her face. “You two have
to stop having sex and break up right now!” ‘Lilith’ snarled. “You’re as bad as
‘Claud’ and you’re a filthy little whore!” I have no idea why ‘Lilith’ behaves
like that. “You know ‘Lee’s’ a drug addict don’t you?” ‘Lilith’ ranted,
spouting her usual lies, “You can’t trust anything he says! Oh, I see now!
You’re trying to steal everything from my parents!” ‘Elizabeth’ was shocked.
She cried all the way to her parents place, but when we got there they bailed
her up and demanded answers. ‘Lilith’ had used what ‘Elizabeth’ had said when
she answered the questions ‘Lilith’ asked; ‘Lilith’ had found the telephone
number for ‘Elizabeth’s’ parents and called them, spreading her vindictive
slander and effectively destroying the relationship between ‘Elizabeth’ and her
parents, as well as the one I’d been working to cultivate with them.
‘Elizabeth’ almost broke-up with me after that. I couldn’t really blame her.
I should never have introduced her to ‘Lilith’. It had been selfish. I
thought ‘Lilith’ and ‘Bull’ might realise I was an adult once I’d introduced
‘Elizabeth’, and they might stop inflicting their insane psychological and
physical violence. I was so wrong. ‘Lilith’ just escalated. Why did she do it?
What was her motive? If what she did wasn’t illegal or something the police
concern themselves with, then what are people subjected to this kind of
insanity supposed to do? Legal Aid doesn’t deal with this, so I have been
informed, and private legal representation isn’t available to the financially
disadvantaged. Who is supposed to help victims of these anti-social behaviours?
I tried to mend the damage by taking ‘Elizabeth’ to meet my grandparents,
staying at ‘Edward’ and ‘Sharleen’s’ for a night before travelling over the
mountain to visit ‘Elisa’ and ‘George’, ‘Claud’s’ parents. ‘Elizabeth’ and I
had slept in separate rooms, but despite the facts, everyone seemed to think we
were sleeping with one another. ‘Lilith’ said to me, weeks later, “even if you
ever get married, you and your wife will never even sleep under the same roof
let alone share a bed if I have anything to say about it.” I have no idea why
she would go to such extreme lengths to destroy relationships like that. Before
I eventually married, I was very cautious about who I dated because there was
always the potential I might date a half-sister. In the end I only ever dated
two women. But ‘Lilith’s’ behaviour made no sense. I have often wondered if she
was worried a situation might arise that revealed she and ‘Claud’ are not my
biological parents.
1992
But it didn’t end there. ‘Lilith’ moved ‘Micha’ in with ‘Edward’ and
‘Sharleen’ to complete his final year of High School in [DELETED]. ‘Lilith’ moved
in for the six weeks of the Christmas school holidays too, bringing her three
youngest children. She and ‘Micha’ ramped up the harassment and bullying until
I snapped. ‘Micha’ had driven me from the room we had shared whenever we
visited. ‘Edward’ told me that when ‘Lilith’ left with her children, I could
use the other bedroom, the one in the middle of the house that ‘Lilith’ had
always used. When ‘Lilith’ told her father that wasn’t acceptable and that he
should make me leave, ‘Edward’ told her it was his house, not hers. But it just
got worse. One day, ‘Sharleen’ returned to the world the rest of us occupy. Her
eyes were vacant one minute, then she was as she had always been. She grabbed
my wrist while I was making dinner and doing dishes. “You must leave!” She
said. “There is nothing here for you! ‘Lilith’ and ‘Micha’ won’t let you have
what we want to give you! Don’t be like them! This is not what God wants for
you! Please, go, live your life in peace!” And then she was gone again, her
mind lost in whatever strange, deluded reality she now occupied. A few days
after ‘Lilith’ left, I tried to tell ‘Edward’ what had been going on. ‘Lilith’
had been calling her father every day, demanding he kick me out and trying to
convince him I was planning to steal everything from him. ‘Micha’ had continued
his campaign of bullying and assisted with ‘Lilith’s’ lies. I knew
‘Sharleen’ was right when my grandfather responded to my pleas for help by
snarling at ‘Micha’ and me “If you can’t get along, you can leave.” I lasted
three more days.
‘Micha’ was doing his usual to belittle and bully me with incessant
mockery, insults and slanderous accusations, hiding behind ‘Sharleen’ while he
did it. He was 6’ tall then, and a hundred kilos. A couple of years later, I
heard he was 6’4” and 130 kilos. At the time, I was 5’9” and still 58 kilos.
The same weight I’d be until I was 23. He’d always been allowed to eat and his
access to money let him get whatever he wanted. I told ‘Micha’ I’d had enough.
“Step outside and say that, you lying chunk of crap,” I told him. But he had
always been a coward. He refused and just kept standing behind our
grandmother’s tiny 5’6” frame, smirking as he continued his tirade of lies and
insults. At that moment I realised ‘Sharleen’ was right. It was never going to
stop. If I stayed I’d become just like them. I took my few possessions and put
them in the car. Then I left. I never went back. ‘Edward’ and ‘Sharleen’
weren’t there to wave goodbye like when I was a kid. I never looked back.
Everything I’d ever wanted was there. I left the future ‘Edward’ and ‘Sharleen’
had always promised me because I knew ‘Sharleen’ was right. ‘Lilith’ and
‘Micha’ would make sure they got what they wanted and if I stayed I’d become as
bad as them in the process, and still have nothing to show for it. I had earned
about five thousand dollars for the work I’d done while I was there, but I owed
‘Edward’ two thousand and knew I’d never see the rest. As far as I was
concerned, it was cursed anyway.
But I needed it. I couldn’t get work for almost a year. When I did it
was only casual for a few hours a week. I couldn’t afford rent and food.
‘Elizabeth’s’ mother, ‘Deanne’, let me board in a spare room at her house.
‘Elizabeth’s’ father, ‘Kent’, had died of cancer about a year after I met him
and her mother needed the extra money. Board didn’t provide much food but I
didn’t have enough money to buy more. I’d written to ‘Edward’ and ‘Sharleen’
several times but only ever got one reply. ‘Edward’ wrote that nobody knew why
I’d left and tried to convince me that ‘Lilith’ had given me a good start in
life, that there was no deal and nobody was against me. ‘Lilith’ had boasted
once that she told her father and mother, ‘Claud’s’ relatives and other people
who knew me, that I was suffering paranoid delusions from abusing drugs, and
that was also why I was so thin. She and ‘Micha’ had both been defaming me for
years so they could discredit me and destroy my relationship with ‘Edward’ and
‘Sharleen’. It was the same with ‘Claud’s’ parents and relatives. My visits to
them were filled with awkward silences and sidelong glances that suggested they
didn’t know what I was going to do. Nobody I knew trusted me. That year,
‘Claud’ let me know his father was having a party for his birthday and asked if
I’d like to go over with him. He was in the area and he told me to bring
‘Elizabeth’. I said I wasn’t going if ‘Micha’ would be there but ‘Claud’
assured me ‘Micha’ had said he wasn’t going. As ‘Micha’ had always put money
first, I took ‘Claud’s’ word; it was a mistake.
‘Claud’ arrived with one woman and dropped her off at her place on the
way. “You don’t mention her in front of our next passenger,” ‘Claud’ warned us.
Fifteen minutes later he picked up another woman and she came with us to
‘Claud’s’ parent’s place. ‘Claud’ was like that. He dated multiple women at a
time, always trying to keep them in the dark about one another. But ‘Micha’ was
there at ‘George’ and ‘Elisa’s’. He showed up in a Toyota Hilux he’d purchased
with the money from his bank account. It was second hand and cost $12,000.
‘Lilith’ hadn’t touched any of the money in his bank account. He came with a
Nintendo game system. Those were fairly new at the time. He used it to impress
our cousins but after they’d played with it for the day, he returned it to
Target for a full refund. That was the kind of person he was. He used money to
impress people. He’d also been spreading his lies and spite for an hour before
‘Elizabeth’ and I got there. The way we were treated left ‘Elizabeth’ so
distressed she asked if we could leave. I agreed. ‘Claud’ had come out and told
me to get back inside. His eyes were filled with menace and the promise of
violence. “I’m nineteen,” I said to him, “and you haven’t been a part of my
life for more than five minutes. You helped ‘Lilith’ and ‘Micha’ cause this so
you don’t get to tell me what to do.” The look in ‘Claud’s’ eyes was one of
pure rage and he started coming at me, his hands balled into fists. “Don’t you
talk back to me!” he had snapped. “I’ve made a lot of effort to show my parents
that I’ve reconciled with you two, and I’m not gonna let you ruin that now!” He
never reached me. ‘Lorenzo’, his older brother, stepped out of the house and
called his name. There was menace in that. ‘Lorenzo’ shook his head and ‘Claud’
stormed inside, giving his brother a sullen glare. ‘Lorenzo’ gave me a nod and
said, “It’s okay, you can come and visit some other time when they’re not
here.” We had to find our own way back to [DELETED].
That year I finally got the courage to take charge of my life. I went to
the Department of Social Security at the end of 1992 to ask permission to
repeat Year Twelve, having to explain my circumstances. They made me go into
excruciating, humiliating detail and took notes. They wanted to know if
‘Lilith’ and ‘Bull’ had any other children and expressed concern when I told
them what had been going on with them. Decades later I would learn these two
staff members hadn’t bothered to follow-up on what I’d said, and the
consequences had been devastating on the lives of ‘Lara A’, ‘Sue B’, ‘Adam C’,
our grandfather, and ‘Micha’s’ wife and son, not to mention myself. I had to
get a letter from Mr ‘Rolls’ to recommend they give me another chance at Year
Twelve and provide supporting evidence for my claim to determine if I should be
given a second chance. I was given permission and advised to report what I’d said
to the Police. I did as they said and the officer took notes. He stopped and
asked an odd question “What’s your father’s name?” When I answered and the
officer just put the pen down. I told him it was ‘Lilith’ and ‘Bull’ who’d been
abusing me, not ‘Claud’. The officer just said “There’s no crime here and you
should keep this to yourself unless you want to get sued for defamation.” It
frustrated me that all the physical and psychological abuse is considered a
crime when inflicted on people with money and affluence, but not, apparently,
for me. It appeared that anything to do with ‘Claud’ would get buried and the
victims isolated and silenced. Maybe that cop knew ‘Claud’. Maybe he was
worried an investigation even mentioning ‘Claud’ might uncover something else
he wanted concealed. I don’t know, but there has to be a reason why nobody will
even let me make an official statement about what happened to me and my
siblings.
I also made the mistake of contacting AMP and explaining my situation to
them. ‘Lilith’ had a $20,000 Life Insurance policy on me. She was the
beneficiary. When I turned twenty-one it would mature and I could claim the
$2,500 it was worth. I asked if it was possible to take control of the account
to make sure the premiums got paid and AMP agreed and arranged the transfer.
Everything was fine for a few months and then one day ‘Elizabeth’s’ brother
said “There’s some woman at the door wants to talk to you.” It was ‘Lilith’.
“Happy Mother’s Day!” She snarled. She’d arrived in a brand new black four
wheel drive. I didn’t know it at the time, but she’d divorced ‘Bull’ and sold
their farm, gaining custody of the kids and most of the money. “How did you
find out where I was?” I asked. There was no way she could have known. The only
person I’d told was my cousin ‘Myshell’ and ‘Lilith’s’ father, and I’d written
it down in the actual letters, not on the envelope. “Stop writing to you
grandfather!” ‘Lilith’ had ranted at me. “I’m going to make sure he never gets
anything you send, and you’ll never speak to him or the kids ever again!” I
shut the door in her face. I’d had enough of her to last a lifetime. But she
wasn’t lying. Almost two decades later I’d learn her father never got any of
the letters after the only one he’d ever responded to. Then the letters from
‘Lilith’ started to arrive. She had contacted AMP when they stopped taking
money out of her account for my policy premiums. Then she made them give her
control again. She claimed the premiums on both my account and ‘Micha’s’ had
not been paid and the policies had almost lapsed, that I had nearly destroyed
all her years of hard work, but AMP told me they had been paid. They said
‘Lilith’ told AMP I was a drug addict and wanted the money from the account to
buy drugs when it matured. She also convinced them to give her the address I’d
provided them for the account when I took control.
AMP wouldn’t return control to me until I was twenty-one because they
didn’t know who was telling the truth. They probably didn’t want to have to
deal with ‘Lilith’ again either. The letters from ‘Lilith’ were filled with
threat and spite, instructing me to “stay out of my affairs”. She had a Life
Insurance Policy out on me and would get $20,000 if my life ended, and she
claimed that was her business and I should stay out of it. I began to wonder
about a lot of her behaviour toward me when I was a child, the beatings and
occasions where I’d been put in dangerous, even life threatening situations. At
around this time, ‘Micha’ was admitted to the [DELETED] Hospital. He’d suffered
a gunshot to one of his arms that permanently damaged the nerves in that hand. ‘Claud’
would later insist it had been an accident. ‘Micha’ had played with guns from
the age of ten and claimed to know everything about them (actually, he claims
to know everything about everything), so it was possible it was an accident.
But I’ve always had a bad feeling about ‘Lilith’ and ‘Claud’s’ motives, and the
things I’ve learned since then has raised questions and doubt as to whether she
and ‘Claud’ really are my biological parents, and why they are so desperate to
discredit me, drive me away from all my relatives, and conceal information
about ‘Claud’s’ other children.
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